Tough stuff

Being back at work is so very hard, there isn't any understanding about PTSD, which is ok but I don't know who to go to to talk about the lack of support and the huge triggers that exist. I want to be able to get back and be able to cope but I worry about it alot and have become more symtomatic.
Mum and Dad came at the weekend which was lovely, Dad and I saw swallows and wheaters, dad got great photos.
My college course is great, its good to be creative and do sketchbook stuff. I feel like I'm doing alright when I do that.

Back in uniform

1st day back at work today, actually only managed 2 hours, was sick before I went and felt very shaky while there. Next time won't be so bad and I just have to weigh up if I can continue to work with the person that made me so ill and who obviously hasn't made an effort to understand what I've been through. Exhausting spent the afternoon asleep.

doing well

Since the wedding and the meeting are now behind me things are really looking up, I have been on a level plateau with just a few blips of anxiety, nothing huge. In fact don't want this weeks EMDR would rather keep jogging along with all the grotty thoughts tucked safely away!
On Saturday T and I went to see the new baby, oh he's so sweet and of course I did get broody cuddling him and kissing his little head! We stayed at M + D's it was good to see them both.
It was the first time since summer that I looked forward to doing something, I wasn't at all worried it was such a liberating feeling.
The sun was out today and Bill and I had a lovely long walk, it was warm and we saw loads of birds, well I did he's a dog so not really fussed, what's more I did some painting in the studio, hoorah, what a great day!