Biscuit Bear

I am having such fun teaching myself to sew and make things. Today I am going to learn how to make my own bias binding, I'm really excited about it and just a bit nervous. I have set up a page on Facebook and within a week I have got 180 likes, which is just amazing and a real confidence boost. At the weekend T is going to help me construct my webpage.

Anyway I'm going back to you tube to find another sewing tutorial than I'm off to make aprons and bunting, oh happy day!
This picture is the BIG TOTE bag I made for Aimee, it's reversible, has padded handles and pockets, I'm a bit proud of this one.

Biscuit Bear

I am having such fun teaching myself to sew and make things. Today I am going to learn how to make my own bias binding, I'm really excited about it and just a bit nervous. I have set up a page on Facebook and within a week I have got 180 likes, which is just amazing and a real confidence boost. At the weekend T is going to help me construct my webpage.

Anyway I'm going back to you tube to find another sewing tutorial than I'm off to make aprons and bunting, oh happy day!
This picture is the BIG TOTE bag I made for Aimee, it's reversible, has padded handles and pockets, I'm a bit proud of this one.

Oh it's been ages

Haven't blogged since last two weeks of annual leave and here I am another two weeks off and finally get some time to blog again.
So erm what's been occurring? Well not much, work is up and down, L has retired and I miss her, she was very supportive and I would not have got back to work if she hadn't helped me. Some new people have started and they are great.
I found a PTSD support link on Twitter, that posted a link about research suggesting creativity good for mental health. I guess we all know that really but it's given me the boot to make more time for fiddling about in my studio. I made some bunting for this summer's O'H wedding and then I made some for our tent. Now i'm turning out reversible tote bags, it's fun and takes my mind off things. Also people willing to buy them from me so house not buried in stuff I've made!
Last weekend we went to Norfolk to celebrate Si's 40th, it was a lovely few days, the Smith's joined us, it was so good to see them all, the new baby is delicious, her head is perfect, Blobbie would have adored her.
I struggled a bit with all the people and talking but it was great, I couldn't have done that last year.  Poor T has a cold this half term, good job I'm off because the snoring is shaking the house and sleep isn't easy.

2 weeks off

Enjoying a break, although work has been a lot better over last few months I really need a break! Last weekend a patient screamed in my face and told me to leave her house, I was so shaken, she made me cry. I didn't like being at work on my own on that day :( I felt out of my depth and wonder if I will ever be back to myself? I'm going to see GP this week, see what he says.
On Sunday we celebrated Blod's 21st, I cannot believe it has been 21 years since I was 21 and held that little scrap it for the first time in mum's garden. She is a beautiful, lovely person. And no I don't think I'm biased! It was a lovely family day, the sun shone and Billy enjoyed the bbq!
To celebrate T's day we went to London, I loved living there, oh to be young again and not contemplating marriage to a, hmm well I leave that thought, you shouldn't really say "what if" should you?! Anyway it was a very special day out with both kids, we took cabs and enjoyed a lot of al fresco dinning. Lunch in the Tate with j & j, Miro exhibition and Biggles' special sausage shop. Fab.
Mum made T a coming home from school cake, it was a good day.

Last days of RMAC for M

We have had a lovely few days, it's been busy and a bit stressful but very worth it. M finished his GCSE's and had a graduation assembly at school, he got 3 golds we were so proud of him. I was so glad Mum and Dad were there to share the moment, they have been so supportive, M never liked school as a little boy and so many times M&D kept me going and shared the positive times. It was great they were there to enjoy such a success, it also made it really special for M. In the evening we had a meal that Al and Anan came too, that was important for M and could have been difficult, particularly when himself came in to the house and didn't say hello to me.... idiot. Still it was important to all be there for M and he appreciated it.

Before the Prom the neighbours and M's friends came in for a drink then we went to watch all the pupils arrive for Prom, wow what a big deal it all is, as people got out of their cars the crowd cheered! It was great fun, so glad we went up to watch. Also so glad M not a girl, there was a serious amount of time and money behind some of the frocks, spray tans, makeup and cars!! It was wonderful to see M happy and doing well, he looked fab, so grown up and he was so confident, chatting to people, working the crowd like my Grandad used to! Over the last few days people have said some lovely positive things about him, I hope his results are good enough for him to go on to Budmth to do A levels.

M went off to his dad's for the first time in ages T and I have some time to ourselves, bliss! We went to S-on-A for a party which was good.

I have been feeling a bit worse in terms of stress levels, not sleeping so well, getting anxious and that but really we have been so busy at work and so much going on at home I think it's probably the reason but its a bit worrying and I am fed up with being a bit mad and not my old self. Anyway at work yesterday a patient's reli was aggressive and verbally abusive but I was calm and professional and got myself out of the house and called for some back up. Afterwards, yes I was shaky and my adrenaline levels were high but I carried on and about 2-3 hours after I was fine, I feel really positive about that, imagine if that had happened 4 or 5 months ago.... the other thing is the team was different, with the changes those that were left were kind and supportive, hhmm what a shame that was overshadowed two years ago by the lack of understanding and support that went on. Oh nurses can be mean!

River Cottage HQ

Weekend camping, we went to Axminster and ate at Hugh Furleywhirrlywhatshisname's cafe, mmmmm delicious. Apart from this trip out for lunch on Saturday we didn't leave the campsite, very lazy time making cups of tea, reading and walking a long way to the toilet! Our first outing with new tent, very successful until it came to taking it down in the rain. T now convinced we need a trailer as there no way we can fit 2 children, dog, us and all kit in car to go away in the summer!

Spring lambs

Cute or what?
It's Zumba tonight, I really need to go for it tonight I have eaten far too many biscuits in the last week, oops.
The summer white stuff catalogue has arrived today, need to be good so I can wear their lovely summer things without looking lardy bird!

Bank holidays

I worked over the Easter holidays then had some days off now feel really relaxed had a nice time. Dad came down & we went birdying, we saw a marsh harrier at radipole and a whimbrel at the Bill, it was such a thrill, the Harrier was huge, obviously! We chatted to a group from Preston, the "Preston lot". Then we drove home to happy Hitchin ready for the royal wedding, mum and I had a lovely day. We didn't move from the sofa, we watched it from start to finish then over again and again! Much comment on the hats and frocks, the wedding dress and bridesmaids, the Queen & Camilla. Wonderful day, totally exhausted by the end of it! Came home to spend day off with T back to work tomorrow. Saw a whinchat today and bartailed Godwits, both firsts for me. Have joined Portland bird observatory, think they do fab work and have been friendly and helpful so far.

Flippin 'eck

EastEnders

Sunday

M gone to his dads. Mum & dad have gone home so a dog walk and quiet afternoon playing with phones ! Have prepared letter for red nose day fun at work. Lovely weekend, work tomorrow :(

Lovely day

I have two lovely outfits from White Stuff. I have wanted clothes from there for ages but I needed to loose weight first. So I had a great time in Dorch with mum. We had tapas this evening at the Blue Fish, it has been a good day.

It's my birthday

Hip hip hoorah. I can remember how unwell I was this time last year, I have got so much better and in the last few weeks I can feel as if I'm really coping well. Since hearing that someone is leaving a weight has lifted from me and I am going to work with such a glow but now we have heard that there will be interviews to improve team dynamics. I think bloody hell just when I was getting my act together I have this to fret about.

Day off.

I had a facial today, it made my fillings tingle but it was really relaxing. I didn't check how much it would be before I had it and I was pleasantly surprised. Did some housework too, that was less relaxing but all in a good cause. Mum and dad are coming on Thursday, hoorah

Busy day

Later
Reasons to be cheerful part 2. What a lucky girl I am.

Rain

I know that it's raining outside because my new phone has a picture of the weather on it. How cool and a bit smart is that? I must get one for the dog he is nagging me 2 get up but he hates walking in the rain!

Sunny Sunday

I have a list of jobs to do and no motivation to get started, it's a beautiful day and we didn't actualy wake up until 11 oops!
I have CBT homework to do, boring. I'm not sure it's helping that much, the therapist is wider than she is tall, it's difficult re:learning behaviour from a woman with low self esteem and a lack of will power. I know that's mean but she isn't that professional, I don't want to hear about the death of her father and her marriage breakdown, I have enough problems of my own and an hour isn't that long when I have to listen to her too. I want it to be all about me!!
Last weekend T and I went to his sister's and celebrated his Mum's 80th birthday we were all there apart from Sav. What a lovely day, we had a picnic and the weather was perfect. Bill was in labrador heaven! It took us ages to get there though. On the way back we talked about moving to be nearer family. It's so beautiful here but it's a high price to pay for missing friends and family and not being able to find another job. We'll see but it's good to be thinking about making positive plans together and talking about change and not getting freaked out!
Well I had better make a start on the homework and the other jobs, perhaps T could iron for me, I hate that job!

Pledge | Stamp Out Stigma

Pledge | Stamp Out Stigma

sunshine

T and I went camping again at the weekend, the weather was fab, it was warm and sunny but it was sooo cold at night! Billy was much more settled this time and we didn't have M with us so we went to an 18+ site. I was slightly nervous wondering if it would be like a swingers site but it was very peaceful with out kids and no one asked us for our car keys.
I've been so much better recently but today was a bad day, I'm much more jumpy and Asda was a nightmare. I read a novel over the weekend called Summer of Secrets about a girl with PTSD, it was good, very accurate. I liked her counsellor he was very informative! It's good to be able to concentrate and read again.

Billy by the Fleet

outdoor madness

When T and I first met I said I would never camp, today we not only bought a tent but booked ourselves a night at a campsite 5 mins down the road to give said new tent a dry run. (lets hope it is a dry night or it will be a one night stand for me and the tent!)
Not sure what has changed my mind but quiet looking forward to getting out of the house and slowing down a bit.
Work is still a struggle andl I haven't had any ideas of what else I could do, i'm very tired and have gone back to feeling as if I'm walking through treacle. Lets hope the time out in the sun has some relaxing benefits to my poor brain.

So tired

I haven't slept properly in days, the limited amount of sleep I was getting has reduced since starting phased return, little wonder, some of my "mates" at work can be rather brutal. I obviously have a large sign over my head that says "kick me while I'm down"
The carnival college course is fab. I'm enjoying being creative and can get lost in the sketchbook stuff for hours. Some of the teachers on the course can be a bit miserable.
Wish I could think of another job I could do other than nursing, i'll wait for inspiration to strike.