Sunny Sunday

I have a list of jobs to do and no motivation to get started, it's a beautiful day and we didn't actualy wake up until 11 oops!
I have CBT homework to do, boring. I'm not sure it's helping that much, the therapist is wider than she is tall, it's difficult re:learning behaviour from a woman with low self esteem and a lack of will power. I know that's mean but she isn't that professional, I don't want to hear about the death of her father and her marriage breakdown, I have enough problems of my own and an hour isn't that long when I have to listen to her too. I want it to be all about me!!
Last weekend T and I went to his sister's and celebrated his Mum's 80th birthday we were all there apart from Sav. What a lovely day, we had a picnic and the weather was perfect. Bill was in labrador heaven! It took us ages to get there though. On the way back we talked about moving to be nearer family. It's so beautiful here but it's a high price to pay for missing friends and family and not being able to find another job. We'll see but it's good to be thinking about making positive plans together and talking about change and not getting freaked out!
Well I had better make a start on the homework and the other jobs, perhaps T could iron for me, I hate that job!

sunshine

T and I went camping again at the weekend, the weather was fab, it was warm and sunny but it was sooo cold at night! Billy was much more settled this time and we didn't have M with us so we went to an 18+ site. I was slightly nervous wondering if it would be like a swingers site but it was very peaceful with out kids and no one asked us for our car keys.
I've been so much better recently but today was a bad day, I'm much more jumpy and Asda was a nightmare. I read a novel over the weekend called Summer of Secrets about a girl with PTSD, it was good, very accurate. I liked her counsellor he was very informative! It's good to be able to concentrate and read again.

Billy by the Fleet

Home again, home again, gigetty gig

Had a lovely time at Mum and Dad's the journey was easy this time and I had Friday Nights by Joanna Trollope to listen to in the car. Mum and I went shopping, I could feel how much I had improved in the last few months and felt I coped well. I stupidly didn't take enough medication for my stay so had to go to my old GP's, it took too long out of our short time together, but perhaps it will teach me a lesson. We looked at old photos, it was lovely and we both got sentimental and gooey over Max, Oli and Ella. M+D liked the sketches I had done for the painting to go in the redecorated dining room.
Max has phoned and he sounds like he's having a fab time, still in one piece (phew) and happy, who could ask for more?
Now I am back home with T we can enjoy some time on our own, although not this evening as Leeds are on the TV loosing to Spurs! Billy is fast asleep toasting his tummy in front of the fire. EMDR therapy tomorrow morning, not looking forward to it.

Busy day

Tom and Billy in the sun.

Woke up late feeling a bit grumpy, I think it was because there was just so much to do today. Max is off on his school ski trip later tonight, so he needed "help" (haha) getting his stuff packed, it was a bit like pulling teeth. It didn't take as long as I thought it would, but it was a painful experience! I'm sure he will have a great time but of course I am worrid about him.

The dog has it right, he spent most of today asleep in front of the fire, Tom and I took him on a nice walk in the sunshine. We stopped and sat on a rock enjoying the sun and view. Billy managed to squeeze himself between us, he closed his eyes in the sunshine and looked very content.

I did some sketching this afternoon, not much but it was relaxing and good to find time today to do something creative.

Bill

This is Billy-dog, looking a bit hot and bothered in my Mum's lovely garden. I wish our garden was such a haven, its a bit of a jungle and not very private. Perhaps this year we will get round to making it a little more friendly.

I have been off sick from work with PTSD, it's been a living nightmare, can't believe such a thing could happen to me, but anyway I'm getting better. I've been having EMDR which has moved things along at a faster pace.

Plan to walk Billy with Audrey today, but as usual when we make a walking date its raining!