Last days of RMAC for M

We have had a lovely few days, it's been busy and a bit stressful but very worth it. M finished his GCSE's and had a graduation assembly at school, he got 3 golds we were so proud of him. I was so glad Mum and Dad were there to share the moment, they have been so supportive, M never liked school as a little boy and so many times M&D kept me going and shared the positive times. It was great they were there to enjoy such a success, it also made it really special for M. In the evening we had a meal that Al and Anan came too, that was important for M and could have been difficult, particularly when himself came in to the house and didn't say hello to me.... idiot. Still it was important to all be there for M and he appreciated it.

Before the Prom the neighbours and M's friends came in for a drink then we went to watch all the pupils arrive for Prom, wow what a big deal it all is, as people got out of their cars the crowd cheered! It was great fun, so glad we went up to watch. Also so glad M not a girl, there was a serious amount of time and money behind some of the frocks, spray tans, makeup and cars!! It was wonderful to see M happy and doing well, he looked fab, so grown up and he was so confident, chatting to people, working the crowd like my Grandad used to! Over the last few days people have said some lovely positive things about him, I hope his results are good enough for him to go on to Budmth to do A levels.

M went off to his dad's for the first time in ages T and I have some time to ourselves, bliss! We went to S-on-A for a party which was good.

I have been feeling a bit worse in terms of stress levels, not sleeping so well, getting anxious and that but really we have been so busy at work and so much going on at home I think it's probably the reason but its a bit worrying and I am fed up with being a bit mad and not my old self. Anyway at work yesterday a patient's reli was aggressive and verbally abusive but I was calm and professional and got myself out of the house and called for some back up. Afterwards, yes I was shaky and my adrenaline levels were high but I carried on and about 2-3 hours after I was fine, I feel really positive about that, imagine if that had happened 4 or 5 months ago.... the other thing is the team was different, with the changes those that were left were kind and supportive, hhmm what a shame that was overshadowed two years ago by the lack of understanding and support that went on. Oh nurses can be mean!

New baby

T and I have a new nephew, we are very happy and look forward to meeting him. I'm looking forward to buying him a pressie tomorrow, must not get broody!
Sav has arrived for half term, looking beautiful as ever and talking so fast it will take a few days to tune my ears in again!
Had appointment with occupational health who feel I am not yet robust enough for work, probably right but will I ever be ready? As soon as I start thinking about going back my anxiety levels go sky high again. Perhaps need to try another therapy, CBT rather then the EMDR? I don't know, maybe I will phone psychologist tomorrow.
M was very helpful today and good company.

Hair cut, job done!

My anxieties pre trim were justified and accurate, but it's done. Not really sure how it looks, I didn't blow dry it, just pulled a hat on and took the dog straight out after Gem had gone.
There was a discussion on Woman's Hour about PTSD, (in the military) very interesting and relevant. Always good to hear your symptoms described by another person, you feel less mad, less stigmatised. Treated myself to RSPB membership today, think spending time outside has been good for my mental health and want to maintain this when I go back to work. Have requested a relaxing sitting area in the garden for my birthday.
M is being an irritating teen today, rude, stomping, grunting and pushing all the buttons that are guaranteed to make me scream at him! We've had a good week so far, why he has to mess the nest now? I don't know. Is it due to going to his Dad tomorrow? It would make me grumpy!
T has come home with lots of lovely cards and gifts from children in school today, his mat leave cover is over, tonight he is out for his leaving do. I have nicked a strawberry cream from one of the box of chocs!

Busy day

Tom and Billy in the sun.

Woke up late feeling a bit grumpy, I think it was because there was just so much to do today. Max is off on his school ski trip later tonight, so he needed "help" (haha) getting his stuff packed, it was a bit like pulling teeth. It didn't take as long as I thought it would, but it was a painful experience! I'm sure he will have a great time but of course I am worrid about him.

The dog has it right, he spent most of today asleep in front of the fire, Tom and I took him on a nice walk in the sunshine. We stopped and sat on a rock enjoying the sun and view. Billy managed to squeeze himself between us, he closed his eyes in the sunshine and looked very content.

I did some sketching this afternoon, not much but it was relaxing and good to find time today to do something creative.

Hello

Hi all,

this is a new experience for me, so here goes.

I found this site while searching for help on knitting a lace pattern. I find knitting relaxing, its absorbing and repetitive, there's something therapeutic about it.

I had a stressful start to the morning having found my 13yr old had used up all his phone credit for the month on downloading porn, great.

Still things have looked up since with a blustery walk on the cliff top. I'm lucky to live in a beautiful part of the country very close to the sea. They are filming "The Boat that Rocked" near us, I am hoping to catch a glimpse of Bill Nighie!

Well I'll leave at that and get back to my lacy knit!

SarahBearNecessities