Sunny Sunday

I have a list of jobs to do and no motivation to get started, it's a beautiful day and we didn't actualy wake up until 11 oops!
I have CBT homework to do, boring. I'm not sure it's helping that much, the therapist is wider than she is tall, it's difficult re:learning behaviour from a woman with low self esteem and a lack of will power. I know that's mean but she isn't that professional, I don't want to hear about the death of her father and her marriage breakdown, I have enough problems of my own and an hour isn't that long when I have to listen to her too. I want it to be all about me!!
Last weekend T and I went to his sister's and celebrated his Mum's 80th birthday we were all there apart from Sav. What a lovely day, we had a picnic and the weather was perfect. Bill was in labrador heaven! It took us ages to get there though. On the way back we talked about moving to be nearer family. It's so beautiful here but it's a high price to pay for missing friends and family and not being able to find another job. We'll see but it's good to be thinking about making positive plans together and talking about change and not getting freaked out!
Well I had better make a start on the homework and the other jobs, perhaps T could iron for me, I hate that job!

Home again, home again, gigetty gig

Had a lovely time at Mum and Dad's the journey was easy this time and I had Friday Nights by Joanna Trollope to listen to in the car. Mum and I went shopping, I could feel how much I had improved in the last few months and felt I coped well. I stupidly didn't take enough medication for my stay so had to go to my old GP's, it took too long out of our short time together, but perhaps it will teach me a lesson. We looked at old photos, it was lovely and we both got sentimental and gooey over Max, Oli and Ella. M+D liked the sketches I had done for the painting to go in the redecorated dining room.
Max has phoned and he sounds like he's having a fab time, still in one piece (phew) and happy, who could ask for more?
Now I am back home with T we can enjoy some time on our own, although not this evening as Leeds are on the TV loosing to Spurs! Billy is fast asleep toasting his tummy in front of the fire. EMDR therapy tomorrow morning, not looking forward to it.

Sunday

Well Max safely dispatched, crawled into bed but didn't sleep a wink until after 5, mind was a whirl or anxieties, none of which seem important in the day. My therapist, Tonic, suggested a night light to turn off the primitive part of my brain that was alert for danger, but it hasn't really helped much. I'll try anything, even cut down my tea and chocolate intake, which is my life blood!
This morning T and I went to the Blue Fish for breakfast, its a fantastic, friendly place to eat great food on Portland. We love it there. There was an irritating table of Rotarians sitting behind us and I tried not to listen and get irritated by them but it wasn't very easy. We booked ourselves a table to celebrate Valentine's. T is always so romantic, I've had roses and pink champagne in the past, last year was wonderful because we were away with my family for my 40th and Tom sent red roses. He is wonderful and I know how lucky I am to have him in my life.
I'm of to Mum and Dad's in a bit. Mum is taking two days annual leave and we are going to look at family photos and chill together. I'm looking forward to it. They are very supportive and I love being with my Mum, Billy is coming too but I will be missing T.