Sunday, 31 January 2010


Well Max safely dispatched, crawled into bed but didn't sleep a wink until after 5, mind was a whirl or anxieties, none of which seem important in the day. My therapist, Tonic, suggested a night light to turn off the primitive part of my brain that was alert for danger, but it hasn't really helped much. I'll try anything, even cut down my tea and chocolate intake, which is my life blood!
This morning T and I went to the Blue Fish for breakfast, its a fantastic, friendly place to eat great food on Portland. We love it there. There was an irritating table of Rotarians sitting behind us and I tried not to listen and get irritated by them but it wasn't very easy. We booked ourselves a table to celebrate Valentine's. T is always so romantic, I've had roses and pink champagne in the past, last year was wonderful because we were away with my family for my 40th and Tom sent red roses. He is wonderful and I know how lucky I am to have him in my life.
I'm of to Mum and Dad's in a bit. Mum is taking two days annual leave and we are going to look at family photos and chill together. I'm looking forward to it. They are very supportive and I love being with my Mum, Billy is coming too but I will be missing T.

Trying to stay awake...

Max's coach leaves school at 2 this morning. Tom and I managed to persuade M to go to bed at 8pm and get some sleep. He is not nice company when he's tired! So now I'm having an internet browse and blog until it's time to wake him up and wave him off. How worried will I be next week? Still fretting is what I do best at the moment! My eyes are so heavy, I've set the alarm on my phone just incase, thing is if I was in bed I wouldn't be asleep.

Saturday, 30 January 2010

Busy day

Tom and Billy in the sun.
Woke up late feeling a bit grumpy, I think it was because there was just so much to do today. Max is off on his school ski trip later tonight, so he needed "help" (haha) getting his stuff packed, it was a bit like pulling teeth. It didn't take as long as I thought it would, but it was a painful experience! I'm sure he will have a great time but of course I am worrid about him.
The dog has it right, he spent most of today asleep in front of the fire, Tom and I took him on a nice walk in the sunshine. We stopped and sat on a rock enjoying the sun and view. Billy managed to squeeze himself between us, he closed his eyes in the sunshine and looked very content.
I did some sketching this afternoon, not much but it was relaxing and good to find time today to do something creative.

Packing 4 ski trip

Max "helping" 2 pack his stuff

Friday, 29 January 2010

Ups and downs

Egret on fleet

ups and downs

Had a great walk with Auds, she's not having a good time at the moment, her husband is unwell, but we both enjoyed our bracing walk along the Fleet, it didn't rain, infact out of the wind the sun was warm on our faces. We saw egrets, oyster catchers, a grebe and curlew, need to look them up and identify which sort, then we went to Value House which was fun. When I got home I phoned human resources, my mum's suggestion. Wish I hadn't, not very helpful and made me feel pretty useless. Want to get back to work, still it didn't take me too long to get the call, so must be getting better. We all watched The Hangover this evening, it was funny.


This is Billy-dog, looking a bit hot and bothered in my Mum's lovely garden. I wish our garden was such a haven, its a bit of a jungle and not very private. Perhaps this year we will get round to making it a little more friendly.
I have been off sick from work with PTSD, it's been a living nightmare, can't believe such a thing could happen to me, but anyway I'm getting better. I've been having EMDR which has moved things along at a faster pace.
Plan to walk Billy with Audrey today, but as usual when we make a walking date its raining!